when your dad always takes a 2-inch stack of napkins from every fast food restaurant he visits to stock in his car, but when a Vanilla Coke explodes, there are no napkins to be found.
when you turn right and switch to the left lane, and the left turner turns and switches into the right lane.
when you remember something as soon as it doesn't matter anymore.
when Walmart doesn't have the one thing you need.
when you only need to sneeze when you're trying not to wake someone up.
when you buy something and it goes on sale the next day.
when you forget your sunglasses on a sunny day, but remember to bring them on a cloudy day.
when you pick up your 3-handled laundry basket by the one side without a handle.
when it takes you 5 tries to type the word "attempt".
Irony is everywhere, seriously. And the great thing is, even when something ridiculously stupid happens in life, usually I can at least find some amusement by saying "how ironic is that?"
Thursday, March 21, 2013
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Something Special Just for You (and everyone else. You're still special, don't worry)
I just want to take a minute to talk about this video. Yes, I'm aware I do this a lot. Yes, I'm aware I could produce much more educational and valuable things with the time it will take me to write this. But, seriously, guys, just, okay, yeah. Just watch the video. Then we'll talk.
Okay, reasons I felt this was worthy of sharing:
1. Asian guy playing the violin. Yeah.
2. Harmonica solo.
3. Filmed in a bike shop. BECAUSE I LOVE BIKE RIDES.
4. Guitar solo. Does he look like a crazy guitar man? Nooooope
5. Cleverrrr
6. They're kind of a little bit awkward because they're just funny and chill and like let's have a good time making this music video because we aren't all that famous but we're still pretty cool anyways.
7. Um, I just like it a lot, I hope you agree.
KBYE. Hugs for y'all. Baaaaaaye.
Okay, reasons I felt this was worthy of sharing:
1. Asian guy playing the violin. Yeah.
2. Harmonica solo.
3. Filmed in a bike shop. BECAUSE I LOVE BIKE RIDES.
4. Guitar solo. Does he look like a crazy guitar man? Nooooope
5. Cleverrrr
6. They're kind of a little bit awkward because they're just funny and chill and like let's have a good time making this music video because we aren't all that famous but we're still pretty cool anyways.
7. Um, I just like it a lot, I hope you agree.
KBYE. Hugs for y'all. Baaaaaaye.
Thursday, January 10, 2013
On Being All-Knowing
Have you ever thought about what you would have to know in order to know everything?
This is something that has occupied my thoughts in countless quiet times. When I'm in the shower, when I'm falling asleep, when I'm driving by myself, when I'm doing my hair - you name a circumstance, and I've probably been thinking about this in that situation.
You would have to know every person. Their name. Everything they did, said, wore, ate. Everywhere they went. Everyone they knew. Every thought they ever had. Literally everything about every person who has ever lived or is currently living.
You would have to read every book, journal, magazine, poster, advertisement, essay, letter, email, Facebook post, Twitter post. See every movie, music video. Know every musical piece ever written. Know when it was written, who wrote it, know of every instance it has ever been performed. Know every musical artist, the names of their albums, how much they each sold. Know how many pages every book has. Know what books are in every library, what articles are on every website, Have read every article ever published in a newspaper. Know exactly the process every writer went through for each thing they've ever written - the typos, the mistakes, the things they re-wrote and re-worded. Know what was cut from every movie and every video.
You would have to know every country, every city, every town, every village, every building, every government, every neighborhood, every store, every house, the layout of them all. Know how long it took to construct every building. Know where every object in the entire universe is at this very moment. Know exactly how it got there, how it was made before that, and where it will be next. Know every street, stoplight, speed limit, freeway entrance, dead end, school zone.
You would have to know the exact name and history of every plant and animal. Know where they are at this exact moment, know everything about their way of life, know everything they've ever done. Know what will become of them in the end.
I could go on. In fact, it's not even possible to list all the things you would have to know in order to be all-knowing. Things to know are happening faster than they can be listed.
When we talk about God, we often lightly mention that He is all-knowing. Or that He "is aware of us." Or that He "knows our needs." We could all take a moment to appreciate how truly amazing that is. It's not even possible for us to think of everything that we would have to know in order to know everything, yet He is all-knowing. We tend to accept this easily, but do we understand what this means for us?
I think we could all afford to trust Him a little bit more.
We can't know everything right how, and we don't really need to. That's why it's so amazing that we can pray to a Heavenly Father who does know everything, who can specifically tell us what we do need to know.
This is something that has occupied my thoughts in countless quiet times. When I'm in the shower, when I'm falling asleep, when I'm driving by myself, when I'm doing my hair - you name a circumstance, and I've probably been thinking about this in that situation.
You would have to know every person. Their name. Everything they did, said, wore, ate. Everywhere they went. Everyone they knew. Every thought they ever had. Literally everything about every person who has ever lived or is currently living.
You would have to read every book, journal, magazine, poster, advertisement, essay, letter, email, Facebook post, Twitter post. See every movie, music video. Know every musical piece ever written. Know when it was written, who wrote it, know of every instance it has ever been performed. Know every musical artist, the names of their albums, how much they each sold. Know how many pages every book has. Know what books are in every library, what articles are on every website, Have read every article ever published in a newspaper. Know exactly the process every writer went through for each thing they've ever written - the typos, the mistakes, the things they re-wrote and re-worded. Know what was cut from every movie and every video.
You would have to know every country, every city, every town, every village, every building, every government, every neighborhood, every store, every house, the layout of them all. Know how long it took to construct every building. Know where every object in the entire universe is at this very moment. Know exactly how it got there, how it was made before that, and where it will be next. Know every street, stoplight, speed limit, freeway entrance, dead end, school zone.
You would have to know the exact name and history of every plant and animal. Know where they are at this exact moment, know everything about their way of life, know everything they've ever done. Know what will become of them in the end.
I could go on. In fact, it's not even possible to list all the things you would have to know in order to be all-knowing. Things to know are happening faster than they can be listed.
When we talk about God, we often lightly mention that He is all-knowing. Or that He "is aware of us." Or that He "knows our needs." We could all take a moment to appreciate how truly amazing that is. It's not even possible for us to think of everything that we would have to know in order to know everything, yet He is all-knowing. We tend to accept this easily, but do we understand what this means for us?
I think we could all afford to trust Him a little bit more.
We can't know everything right how, and we don't really need to. That's why it's so amazing that we can pray to a Heavenly Father who does know everything, who can specifically tell us what we do need to know.
Sunday, December 16, 2012
Blind Car Handles
So I kind of cheated with the title. This post isn't really about blind car handles. It's actually about turning a blind eye and broken car handles.
But I caught your interest right?
Now you just want me to get to the point, I know, I know.
So. Here's what happened.
Once upon a time, actually a few weeks ago, it there was a very cold morning. My car door was frozen shut. It's always been sticky anyways, but frosty mornings make it quite a feat to open the door. Or in this case, nearly impossible. Why was it nearly impossible? Because about the third strong tug broke the handle clean off. Just snapped. I just stood next to my car and said,
"what?"
then I laughed. Then I got into my car through the passenger side. And I didn't fix my handle until 2 weeks later.
I stuck with the pattern of getting in through the passenger side the whole 2 weeks, knowing that I must have looked like a complete fool. Every time I got in my car at school, at home, at the store, wherever, I knew there must be somebody guffawing at how ridiculous I looked pulling all sorts of strange positions to slide over into the driver seat.
The thing is, though, I don't think anyone really noticed. I don't think I got one strange look the whole time. At least, not one that was obvious. I think when people see you going towards your car, they don't actually watch you get in. They just assume things are normal. We turn a blind eye to irregularities we don't expect to be there. Crazy. I know.
Anyway that's the story. And the lesson. And the refreshments (PSYCH NO REFRESHMENTS FOR YOU).
Okay folks that's it.
Really.
That's the end.
What more can I say about this?
Seriously, I'm done.
KBYE.
But I caught your interest right?
Now you just want me to get to the point, I know, I know.
So. Here's what happened.
Once upon a time, actually a few weeks ago, it there was a very cold morning. My car door was frozen shut. It's always been sticky anyways, but frosty mornings make it quite a feat to open the door. Or in this case, nearly impossible. Why was it nearly impossible? Because about the third strong tug broke the handle clean off. Just snapped. I just stood next to my car and said,
"what?"
then I laughed. Then I got into my car through the passenger side. And I didn't fix my handle until 2 weeks later.
I stuck with the pattern of getting in through the passenger side the whole 2 weeks, knowing that I must have looked like a complete fool. Every time I got in my car at school, at home, at the store, wherever, I knew there must be somebody guffawing at how ridiculous I looked pulling all sorts of strange positions to slide over into the driver seat.
The thing is, though, I don't think anyone really noticed. I don't think I got one strange look the whole time. At least, not one that was obvious. I think when people see you going towards your car, they don't actually watch you get in. They just assume things are normal. We turn a blind eye to irregularities we don't expect to be there. Crazy. I know.
Anyway that's the story. And the lesson. And the refreshments (PSYCH NO REFRESHMENTS FOR YOU).
Okay folks that's it.
Really.
That's the end.
What more can I say about this?
Seriously, I'm done.
KBYE.
Saturday, December 15, 2012
A Different Kind of Finals Week
Finals week.
College kids talk about practically nothing else while it's going.
People say it's one of the worst things that can happen.
So, naturally, I was a little bit apprehensive going into my first one. I wasn't sure I was going to survive until Friday.
SURPRISE I'M STILL HERE!
I even finished all my tests on Thursday, yippee!
Just wanted you all to know that my first finals week wasn't exactly most triumphant, but I DID survive.
Aaaaaaand I learned a lot about what I'm going to do next time. Hooray for life and stuff.
College kids talk about practically nothing else while it's going.
People say it's one of the worst things that can happen.
So, naturally, I was a little bit apprehensive going into my first one. I wasn't sure I was going to survive until Friday.
SURPRISE I'M STILL HERE!
I even finished all my tests on Thursday, yippee!
Just wanted you all to know that my first finals week wasn't exactly most triumphant, but I DID survive.
Aaaaaaand I learned a lot about what I'm going to do next time. Hooray for life and stuff.
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
When You Don't Do Things That Are Dumb But You Fail To Do Things That Would Have Been Smart So You Feel The Same As You Would If You Had Done Something Dumb
They don't usually happen at the same time. But they both happen.
I, for one, mess up a lot. I have thoughts that say "heeeey there . . . you should prolly loook at thiissss before you submiiiittt your paaaaaper . . ."
And guess what? These voices are so quiet, and so creepy, and they just lurk in the back of my mind like they don't really want to make themselves known. So the part of my brain that's like "FINISH ALL THE HOMEWORKS!!!" kinda takes over. I get hasty sometimes. And then I'm embarrassed later when I realized that a small pause to make sure I was doing things correctly could have saved me a lot of pain.
Story time.
We have to write short papers for my Political Science class. At the beginning of the semester, I downloaded the list of topic options, thinking that it wouldn't change. When doing my peer reviews, I encountered another student's paper that was focused on a topic that was not included in the original list of options. I gave them a failing grade. Little did I know that the directions had been updated, and the topic this student had written about was included, and the topic I had written about was not. Did someone say, "HOLY SWINE, THAT'S FLAGNOGGING EMBARRASSING AND AWKWARD AND AWFUL"?
Well, that's actually what I said. Why didn't I just check the directions online? It would have taken 20 seconds tops.
But the point here isn't for me to lament in my silly mistakes. The point is to share a valuable lesson with all my peeps. The lesson is this: don't get so carried away with life that you don't take the time to do little things that will actually save you time in the future even though you probably think you don't have time but you're rushing so much that you don't even take the time to think about whether you have time to do them.
You follow?
Good.
I, for one, mess up a lot. I have thoughts that say "heeeey there . . . you should prolly loook at thiissss before you submiiiittt your paaaaaper . . ."
And guess what? These voices are so quiet, and so creepy, and they just lurk in the back of my mind like they don't really want to make themselves known. So the part of my brain that's like "FINISH ALL THE HOMEWORKS!!!" kinda takes over. I get hasty sometimes. And then I'm embarrassed later when I realized that a small pause to make sure I was doing things correctly could have saved me a lot of pain.
Story time.
We have to write short papers for my Political Science class. At the beginning of the semester, I downloaded the list of topic options, thinking that it wouldn't change. When doing my peer reviews, I encountered another student's paper that was focused on a topic that was not included in the original list of options. I gave them a failing grade. Little did I know that the directions had been updated, and the topic this student had written about was included, and the topic I had written about was not. Did someone say, "HOLY SWINE, THAT'S FLAGNOGGING EMBARRASSING AND AWKWARD AND AWFUL"?
Well, that's actually what I said. Why didn't I just check the directions online? It would have taken 20 seconds tops.
But the point here isn't for me to lament in my silly mistakes. The point is to share a valuable lesson with all my peeps. The lesson is this: don't get so carried away with life that you don't take the time to do little things that will actually save you time in the future even though you probably think you don't have time but you're rushing so much that you don't even take the time to think about whether you have time to do them.
You follow?
Good.
Sunday, December 2, 2012
Narwhals, Yo
I discovered last night that narwhals are real. So that's chill.
I feel like an idiot for not already knowing that, but I'm also ridiculously excited.
NARWHALS YES.
Here's a video about them. It's by National Geographic. That's how I know it's legit.
Ohmygoodness I still can't believe narwhals are real.
Okay I'ma tell you the story. This is a discovery of gargantuan importance in my life, and I need to document it for my posterity. It's probably not journal-worthy, so you internet people get to hear it.
So mah roomie, Camille, and I were continuing an age-old American tradition of watching Elf instead of studying for finals. You know the part where a narwhal just comes out of the water and errbody's scared out o' their wits, except then he's just like "Bye Buddy, hope you find your dad" and Buddy's like "Thanks Mr. Narwhal" and it's all great and you're like "I WISH NARWHALS WERE REAL SO THEY COULD GIVE ME ENCOURAGING ADVICE BEFORE I EMBARK ON MAGICAL LIFE-CHANGING JOURNEYS" and then Camille's like "Narwhals are real" and I'm like "YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME NO THEY AREN'T YOU LIAR YOU'RE TRYING TO GET MY HOPES UP SO YOU CAN THROW ME DOWN TO THE GROUND AND LAUGH AT ME AND TELL ME THAT GULLIBLE IS WRITTEN ON THE CEILING ALSO AND NOW I WILL TAKE CAPS LOCK OFF" and Camille's like "No, seriously, look at this totally legit NatGeo video on the interwebs!" and you're just like
"My life.
is changed.
forever."
Narwhals, yo. They'll change your life.
Who wants to go with me to see them in the wild? Okay. Sweet.
I feel like an idiot for not already knowing that, but I'm also ridiculously excited.
NARWHALS YES.
Here's a video about them. It's by National Geographic. That's how I know it's legit.
Ohmygoodness I still can't believe narwhals are real.
Okay I'ma tell you the story. This is a discovery of gargantuan importance in my life, and I need to document it for my posterity. It's probably not journal-worthy, so you internet people get to hear it.
So mah roomie, Camille, and I were continuing an age-old American tradition of watching Elf instead of studying for finals. You know the part where a narwhal just comes out of the water and errbody's scared out o' their wits, except then he's just like "Bye Buddy, hope you find your dad" and Buddy's like "Thanks Mr. Narwhal" and it's all great and you're like "I WISH NARWHALS WERE REAL SO THEY COULD GIVE ME ENCOURAGING ADVICE BEFORE I EMBARK ON MAGICAL LIFE-CHANGING JOURNEYS" and then Camille's like "Narwhals are real" and I'm like "YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME NO THEY AREN'T YOU LIAR YOU'RE TRYING TO GET MY HOPES UP SO YOU CAN THROW ME DOWN TO THE GROUND AND LAUGH AT ME AND TELL ME THAT GULLIBLE IS WRITTEN ON THE CEILING ALSO AND NOW I WILL TAKE CAPS LOCK OFF" and Camille's like "No, seriously, look at this totally legit NatGeo video on the interwebs!" and you're just like
"My life.
is changed.
forever."
Narwhals, yo. They'll change your life.
Who wants to go with me to see them in the wild? Okay. Sweet.
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