One-Liners That Tell You Everything About Me

From myself:

I'm not a feminist, I just don't want to make you a sandwich.

I only cuddle with myself.

amazon.com

I'm going to stop procrastinating. Someday . . .

If I was a guy, I would have a fro.

If I tell you I hate you, I probably love you enough to know that you won't believe me.

We had homework?


From movies:

"We're not goofing off, we're creating musical fusion." - School of Rock

"Be excellent to each other."
"Wyld Stallyns!" - Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure 


"It says in the Bible not to wrestle your neighbor."
"And that is a crazy lady."
"Beneath the clothes, we find a man, and beneath the man, we find . . . his . . . nucleus."
- Nacho Libre

"You make my life very jokey." - Dil Bole Hadippa!

"How he mocks us." - The Man Who Knew Too Little 

"I feel good, I feel great, I feel wonderful . . . " - What About Bob?


From friends:

"Totally bodacious pamphlet viking."

"The awkwardness you can't resist."

"An awkward turtle with one small useless arm."

 "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious?" (note the question mark. It's very important).

"If you go bald, I get first dibs on your hair."



But most of all, this is what you need to know about me: I probably want to be your friend, unless being your friend will cause death and destruction. :)