Tuesday, July 31, 2012

"If ______ was an Olympic sport..."

People say this a lot.
"If being obnoxious was an Olympic sport, you'd win gold!"
We've all heard it.

I've been watching the Olympics a TON this year (I always do!). Wait a minute, I don't think I've ever explained how much I seriously love the Olympics! (And America!)

I love the Olympics.

Anyway, now that we're clear on that, let's get down to what I really meant to say here.

I was thinking today, what if we got to decide what sports were in the Olympics? Like we would keep most of the normal events, but include some other ones that are equally exciting and much more entertaining? Or maybe we could just add the EXTRA Olympics or something. I dunno, I just think it would be sweet. The possibilities are literally endless - every event could be something from Wipeout or Minute to Win it. Or they could just be my own genius ideas. Here's an example list of events, straight from my Olympic-fanatic brain.

Trampoline basketball
Trampoline dunk contest
Playing piano with feet
Smoothie making
One-handed egg cracking
Giant bubble blowing
Name that tune
Baby diaper changing
Large blanket folding
Envelope licking
Basement fort building
Ice blocking
Bigger and Better scavenger hunting

There are so many options. You might be laughing at me, but seriously, you know how much endurance and determination it takes to lick, say, 50 envelopes? I went through that at graduation. NEVER AGAIN.

But seriously, I love the Olympics.
Also, please follow this link. I almost CRIED at some of them!

CBS Olympic Divers' Funny Faces

U . . . S . . . A . . . ! . . . U . . . S . . . A . . . ! USA! USA! USA!
To anyone in another country: don't worry, I still love you too.

Friday, July 27, 2012

A Rap About Rain

I was going to make an actual recording of me rapping this, but then I didn't because I decided not to and because I didn't really want to and because I'm too lazy and because that would be pretty embarrassing.
So instead of reading it in your head, rap it for your friends and family. That's the way it's meant to be, friends.

A Rap About Rain
A lotta people get all poetic about rain
But I don't wanna do that, it's all just the same
So I'm gonna tell you 'bout what I think
And how I feel . . . and everything

When the weather's nice and sunny, I think it's boring
I'd rather go outdoors when it's raining, and pouring 
I splash in a puddle, I'm wearin' a slicker
You'd better bring inside all your furniture that's wicker

I'm not talkin' bout a little sprinkle, no -
I'm talkin' bout a downpour that's RATHER . . . TORRENTIAL
Sprinkles are for cupcakes and cookies, ya know?

Put on your rubber boots and don't bother with the hair
And remember that this life and the weather ain't fair

Basically, that's what goes through my head on a rainy day. But alas, I am still a white girl with limited rap experience. Here's a REAL rap song, one with a beat and a video and professional skills.

Friday, July 13, 2012

The Vacation Paradox

This is a confounding paradox that has plagued me for years.
Okay it's not really a big deal, but it's just something I've thought about.

Vacations are a time to relax and get away from the stresses of daily life, right?
Well all I know is that when I go on vacation, I just feel more overwhelmed when I get back, because of all the things I missed. (Especially during school...yikes).

Then of course, when I'm on vacation I want to be lazy about my appearance. I'm not going to take up extra space in my suitcase for my blowdryer, you know what I'm sayin? BUT wait. When do you take the most pictures in your life? Oh yeah, when you're on vacation, because you're going to these cool places and you want to remember it!

I'm speaking from personal experience here: sometimes you want to show everyone these great pictures of you standing next to a beautiful, enormous redwood tree, except it's the ugliest picture of you ever, so you decide not to. But then your mom puts it on your family Christmas card and you have to live with the shame. For. Ev. Er.

I've named this conundrum The Vacation Paradox, because it is REAL, people.

Sunday, July 8, 2012


Okay I'm not actually famous.
something cool happened.
So there's this website, cleanfunnypics.com, and they post, uh, well, clean, funny pictures. At least, I'm assuming that's what they do. There's no way to know for sure.

The point is, look what was on their website:

Confused about why this makes me famous? Well, well, well . . . take a looksie at this past post, then come back. Take a good long look. Click RIGHT HERE

Okay, did you see it? LEGIT right?
I'm going to tell my future children about this one day.