Tuesday, July 31, 2012

"If ______ was an Olympic sport..."

People say this a lot.
"If being obnoxious was an Olympic sport, you'd win gold!"
We've all heard it.

I've been watching the Olympics a TON this year (I always do!). Wait a minute, I don't think I've ever explained how much I seriously love the Olympics! (And America!)

I love the Olympics.

Anyway, now that we're clear on that, let's get down to what I really meant to say here.

I was thinking today, what if we got to decide what sports were in the Olympics? Like we would keep most of the normal events, but include some other ones that are equally exciting and much more entertaining? Or maybe we could just add the EXTRA Olympics or something. I dunno, I just think it would be sweet. The possibilities are literally endless - every event could be something from Wipeout or Minute to Win it. Or they could just be my own genius ideas. Here's an example list of events, straight from my Olympic-fanatic brain.

Trampoline basketball
Trampoline dunk contest
Playing piano with feet
Smoothie making
One-handed egg cracking
Giant bubble blowing
Name that tune
Baby diaper changing
Large blanket folding
Envelope licking
Basement fort building
Ice blocking
Bigger and Better scavenger hunting

There are so many options. You might be laughing at me, but seriously, you know how much endurance and determination it takes to lick, say, 50 envelopes? I went through that at graduation. NEVER AGAIN.

But seriously, I love the Olympics.
Also, please follow this link. I almost CRIED at some of them!

CBS Olympic Divers' Funny Faces

U . . . S . . . A . . . ! . . . U . . . S . . . A . . . ! USA! USA! USA!
To anyone in another country: don't worry, I still love you too.


  1. So I've got one thing to say...you...(I think you can fill in the blank)ist. if you couldn't figure out the blank was race. And that, is the end of the game. You lose, Glazier. But it's okay. I still accept and love you. Kind of.

    1. LIAR. FALSE ACCUSER. It's called patriotism