Saturday, December 3, 2011

Most Un-Favorite Christmas Songs

The feminist: "Baby it's Cold Outside" 
"We will not be that easily manipulated!"

The insomniac: "Santa Claus is Comin' To Town"
"He won't see me when I'm sleeping, because I don't sleep. It hurts."

Grandma: "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reigndeer"
"I may not be young and spry, but I can still outrun a reigndeer!"

2nd - grader: "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus"
"Eeeeeeeeeeew . . ."

Deaf: "I Heard the Bells On Christmas Day"

Blind: "I Saw Three Ships Come Sailing In"

Highway Patrolman: "Here Comes Santa Claus"
"We have to make a whole lane just for him to come down. It's a real pain."

Any race other than white: "I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas"

Botanist: "Need a Little Christmas"
"'Haul out the holly'? Please, these people have no idea how to handle delicate plants."

Midget: "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas"
"What are you trying to say, huh?"

Sunburned: "Rudolf the Red-nosed Reigndeer"
"Sure, everyone pities Rudolf when people make fun of his red nose . . ."

Me: "A Wonderful Christmastime"
It is so utterly pointless. I swear, if I hear that song one more time . . .

4 comments:

  1. this. was SO fanfreakingtastic. (:

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  2. This Christmas had better be utterly and completely white.

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  3. You, are hilarious.
    Thanks for sharing your beautiful talents.

    ReplyDelete