Tuesday, August 30, 2011

"We don't need no education..."

Or do we?

Pink Floyd, don't get me wrong, this song is a classic (p.s., if you want to see the most gruesome and disturbing thing of your life, watch the music video for that song. *shudder*). But let's be honest, most of us want to be successful in life, except people who prefer to wander the streets. I guess it's just a matter of opinion.

So, basically, what I'm saying is...

Anyone? Anyone...? Bueller...? (#1 most widely used movie quote by high school teachers. I guarantee it).

School is...
quite beneficial.

Clearly, because without my almost 13 years of public education, I wouldn't know how to use the word "beneficial"! And wouldn't that be a shame?

But really, I've never really hated school. I've rarely even disliked it.
(I know, you can bring out the torches now. Or...flaming Geometry textbooks).

Just to clarify, I'm talkin' public school here, since I've had the most experience there, with the exception of...uh...Sunday school. And pre-school. 

Nevertheless, advancing forward.

Yeah, I know, we waste a lot of time there, and people who are home-schooled learn the same stuff in half the time, and it's all just learning how to cheat the system, and high school is just a big game called "How Many A's Can You Get While Still Playing Sports and Having Friends?"

But there is a dairy air-load (ha, ha) of stuff I've learned in those less-than-sanitary halls:

1. How to talk to people my age
2. How to talk to people not my age
3. How to play foursquare (5th grade anyone?)
4. The art of margin decorating (commonly known as doodling)
5. How to color in the lines (we're talkin' math class and Spanish class last year, not kindergarten)
6. How to sing like a divine, angelic being (well...okay, how to sing in a choir)
7. That I should definitely not pursue a career involving ceramics
8. Every failed tryout or audition can be blamed on how "it's so political"
9. What you do isn't who you are, but everyone probably thinks that anyway. So go ahead and verify stereotypes by your comments in class, outfits, friends, and swagger. It's vastly entertaining for the rest of us.
10. Your classes are going to be harder next year. You're going to have more homework next year. You're going to have less time next year. No, you aren't going to suddenly have time to read the unabridged version of War and Peace, take up photography, do online classes to get ahead, go on a bike ride, write a novel, and learn to cook any time in the near future. You have to make the time. Accept it. Accept it RIGHT NOW.
11. That being said, classes are never as hard as the teacher says they are on the first day. "I want to make sure you all know what you're getting into. This class involves about 2 hours of homework every night. It is very challenging. I do not accept late work. I follow the school electronics policy. If this isn't where you're supposed to be..." Sound familiar? Yeah...I don't think one of those "scare speeches" has ever actually come true in its entirety. But it sure is effective in getting classes down to manageable size. 
12. Textbooks are exciting! ...if you continually stab yourself with a needle while reading in order to stay awake...
Okay I don't do that. But textbooks = uhhhn. Textbooks + food = a little better...uuuh huh...
13. Teachers have favorites. They might pretend to be fair. But don't believe them! Get on their good side while you have a chance!
14. Tactful procrastination. It's one of my best life skills.
15. Never, ever, under any circumstances: let people see your gum, know who you like, or "look at" your cell phone. Ever.

Yeah, I know, this perdy much turned into a "high school advice" column. 
But but but! It's okay! Because, don't you see? If it weren't for public schooling, I wouldn't have all this lovely info to share with the world wide web. (Is it just me, or is it considerably hilarious to say that just for the sake of sounding like 1992?)

So...I hope you learned something. If not, you just wasted...how long would you say it took you to read this post?

Stay cool in school this year! 
(this is where I go "haha I'm such a nerd!" and somebody rolls their eyes at me).

1 comment:

  1. Every time I read your blog.....I love you more. Also, I agree 110% with this post.